Monday, November 28, 2011

The Beaver, the Lie and the Dentist's Office




The Beaver, the Lie and the Dentist’s Office

As she noticed people starting to glance their way, Nan hissed, “Would you please keep your voice down?  I can’t believe you are so upset about this, it’s not like I did it on purpose.”  Ted, ignoring her request, shrugged his shoulders and thrust his hands out palms up, asking sarcastically, “So, that makes it okay, you didn’t do it on purpose?”   
 
Nan and her husband Ted had arrived at their dentist, Dr. Trimble’s office for their six-month checkups.   She had arrived just a few minutes after Ted and had slipped into her seat next to him. The large waiting room was full of people and as she began to explain what had happened, more and more of them flicked covert glances their way.

She was stunned to see Ted’s familiar face morph from its usual open and friendly contours to a warped red glowering face with bulging eyes.  Through clinched teeth Ted ground out, “Are you blind? Did you not see it behind you when you backed out? It’s been setting there for two months, how could you not remember it was there?” His voice was incredulous as he said, “You know how long I worked on that beaver, how much it means to me. How could you be so careless?  How bad is it?”
At these words the people in the waiting room, who had valiantly tried to disregard Nan and Ted’s conversation, began to titter and glance at each other with compressed grins. 


Nan, in a state of shock, could do no more than stare at him open mouthed and speechless.  Ted, usually the calmest and quietest of people, had never in their ten years of marriage spoken to her with such venom.


When she finally found her voice she said, “Ted, Honey, please calm down, it’s just cracked a little and the head is missing, but other than that it’s fine. I’m so, so sorry, really. It was an accident, really!” Ted, finally realizing people were listening and commenting, began taking deep calming breaths to regain his composure.  He couldn’t believe Boris--he had always secretly thought of the beaver as Boris--was gone.  He had loved that beaver.
  
Three months ago Ted’s college football team, the Clark University Beavers, had won the Gladiola bowl, beating their arch rivals the Dover University Jackals by a decisive 35-0 victory. The last time they had beaten the Jackals had been twenty years ago.  To commemorate the momentous occasion Ted had constructed, in his garage, his homage to the Beavers.  With a zealot’s fervor Ted had constructed a seven-foot-tall paper Mache beaver.  Its broad flat paddle of a tail and its ample haunches served to steady the towering, snarling rodent.  It was posed rearing, its mighty front paws raking the air and its grizzled muzzle gaped wide.  Between its enormous incisors it held a flailing jackal desperately trying to free itself.  Ted dotingly painted the beaver in realistic shades of brown and black and of course added a bright Clark University orange “C” in the center of its massive chest. It had been a labor of love for Ted and as nicely done as a seven-foot-tall beaver can be done. With bursting pride Ted had placed the enormous beaver at the end of their driveway where it had set until today.  


Nan, feeling guilty, made one last attempt to explain what had happened. “I am sorry Ted!” but even as Nan reaffirmed this she knew it wasn’t true.  She had deliberately backed into the brown monstrosity, not once but twice.  She had hated that beaver from the moment she had seen its beady little eyes.  Her hatred had only increased when she drove home from work one day to find her driveway full of people.  Ted was proudly standing next to the thing; arm wrapped around its wide butt as people with cameras and camera phones snapped pictures of the crazy man and his giant beaver.

 It was then she knew that something had to be done.  The beaver had to go, but how?  She had thought of hiring someone to steal it away in the night. Then she remembered what her Mother had always told her,” simple is always best”.   She would run over the beaver as she was leaving the house today. It would be an accident; he couldn’t be upset if it had been an accident, could he? She now knew the answer to that question.  Yes, he could.

So they sat waiting, not speaking, trying to ignore the glances and hushed whispers of their fellow dental waiters. Each of them deep in thought, remembering the seven-foot-tall paper Mache beaver with a jackal clamped in its teeth who was secretly known as Boris. 


Diana for the Poplar Grove Muse 

6 comments:

  1. A dentist can help you prevent tooth decay, which can lead to tooth loss. Although many people are reluctant to visit a dental care provider, it is vital to go to make sure that you do not have gum disease. The dental care provider may suggest that you have a deep cleaning and continue good hygiene practices at home. Sometimes the dental care provider may suggest that you use a specially formulated product to improve the condition of your gums. A large number of American people will eventually suffer from gum disease and some will lose their teeth due to improper dental care. It is recommended that you go to the dentist at least twice a year to get your teeth cleaned. You also need to be sure to brush your teeth at least twice a day and use floss to clean areas between your teeth.

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  2. Wonderfully absurd, Diana. Love it. (And the DDS's comment fits right in...!) MKP

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  4. It is hard to feel relaxed when you visit a dental office, no matter how much work you need done. However, some dentists are really trying to help patients stay calm. If you are in search of a good dentist, you can likely find one just by asking your friends for a few recommendations. You should also keep in mind what kind of work you need done, as this can determine which dentist you use.You make time in your life for the people and the activities that mean the most to you. Your teeth and gums matter too, which is why you should give them the time and the attention that they deserve. Do not neglect your dental visits. There are some oral problems that only a doctor can find.

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  6. One of the most popular reasons to visit the dentist these days is to explore whitening options for your teeth. Many people have habits and consume products that stain teeth. Coffee, tea, wine, and cigarettes are all common culprits that can cause unsightly discoloration or stains on your upper and lower teeth. This can be improved or even completely eliminated with advances in whitening techniques and technology. Teeth Whitening has become a popular and cost-effective way to dramatically improve the appearance of your smile in a short period of time.

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