Someone said the weather is
very passionate today. Aye, that it is, wind and rain, wave erasing
wave. I like dramatic weather, as long as no one gets hurt, so I don’t
think it’s the weather that’s causing me to feel
unsettled, not sure what it is. I feel like the heron gull, totally
controlled by the wind, buffeted this way and that, not able to make
headway, find direction, not really able to focus. I want to be like the
guillemot, who sees her target beneath the water,
dislocates her shoulders, locking her wings against her body, she dives
like a needle between the waves, spears her prey and heads for the
surface. As they say in Scotland, done and dusted.
Everyone in our group is so
excited to be here, rushing around outside in gale force winds, happy
ducks in a blustery puddle. I seem to be quite content to sit here in
the sunroom at the Argyll Hotel and stare at the
constantly changing water. I don’t feel like writing or being
productive. It’s been a hard winter and I think my body is telling me to
Sit Down for Pete’s sake. Don’t feel guilty. I don’t
have to do anything. I don’t
have to
be constantly productive. I’m finding it hard to stop the momentum of
the last nine months. I’ve spent nearly every day coordinating this
writing retreat on Iona, sort of like a gestation
period. I’ve given birth, the baby is healthy and now it’s time to let
it thrive on its own.
When I get home, I will start
organizing my move toward retirement, so maybe my brain, body and gut
are telling me I had better rest up while I have the chance.
My world has changed forever with the losses death created this winter. I need to stop minimizing that
and not move out of the grief too quickly. Iona is just the place for
that. She lifts her
veil and removes all boundaries, requiring you to be who you truly are,
where you truly are. So I’m just going to sit here for however long it
takes and let Iona work her magic. Give her time. Give her time.
Rebekah for the Poplar Grove Muse
Love you Rebekah. Perfect post.
ReplyDelete"happy ducks in a blustery puddle." I loved the imagery of this so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts so beautifully.